“There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.” – Kenneth Blanchard
A look at children with selfish parents
Yes, it’s a lengthy article, but this article was fascinating.
So is it possible that selfishness tends to inhibit or prevent happiness and fulfillment in key areas of one’s life? Crazy! Never would have guessed! (/sarcasm)
http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/the-poorest-rich-kids-in-the-world-20130812
You control how you view and react
“You can blame everybody for your problems in life – and you might be right – but you can’t change that. What you can change is what you think and how you react, and what power you give other people’s actions and thoughts over you.”
In yet other words, “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them.” – Epictetus
Things to avoid, or characteristics of those to avoid: blaming others, playing a victim, helplessly whining and carrying on about problems.
Consider instead, thinking about solutions and taking action – accepting personal responsibility – for positive change or resolution, either by how you decide to view something, or by what you will personally do (today or tomorrow) about it!
Sadhguru on Fear
I found this to be a very valuable 1.5 minute video addressing fear and its potential irrationality. Very insightful…
Paraphrased:
An unrealistic perception of life is the basis of fear.
Fear comes about from “living in your mind” rather than with life, with reality, with the here and now. Fear is always about what’s gonna happen next, meaning your fear is always about that which does not exist.
If your fear is about the non-existent, your fear is 100% imaginary. If you are suffering the non-existential, we call that insanity.
So, many people may just be at socially acceptable levels of insanity, but, if you are afraid, or you are suffering anything that which does not exist, it amounts to insanity. Isn’t that insanity?
People are always suffering, either what happened today or what may happen tomorrow, so your suffering is always about that which does not exist, simply because you are not rooted in reality. Instead, you are always rooted in your mind. Mind – one part is memory, one is imagination – both of them, in one way, are imagination, because both of them don’t exist right now. You are lost in your imagination – that’s the basis of your fear. If you were rooted in reality, there would be no fear.
No Fear in the Now
Acceptance of What Is
Inner peace comes from acceptance of what is. The person looking for and placing focus on “problems” is certain to find them. What sometimes makes it worse, is worrying about problems out of your control, or problems that don’t (or might not) even exist.
Example story:
Two monks are walking, and come across a destroyed wagon. The rider is beaten and bloody, and warns them of a pack of bandits in the area. After bandaging the man, they continue on.
The younger monk says “What if the bandits come upon us?” The elder monks replied “Surely our martial training will keep us safe” and kept walking.
The next day the younger monk asks “What if the bandits have guns and swords?” The elder monk says “Surely our sharp minds will prevail” and kept walking.
The third day the young monk asks “What if there are so many bandits they overwhelm us?” The elder responds “Then we shall meet our end with grace.”
They arrived at the monastery that evening, and met with the high monk there. He asked “Three days of travel, tell me what did you see?”
The younger monk says “We saw a beaten man who warned us of bandits. I spent the whole trip with my eyes and ears strained, listening for them.”
The older monk says “We walked through the Old Forest and I enjoyed the vibrant life there. We passed the Winding River, and I meditated on the fish that fight the current. We walked around the Blue Mountain and I beheld the splendours of creation.”
The high monk smiles and says to the younger monk “A bandit steals gold and food. Who then stole the forest, the river and the mountain from you?”
Beware of the Garbage Truck
Came across this last night… pretty good reminder…
Twenty years ago, while riding in a New York City taxi, international keynote speaker and positive psychology leader David J. Pollay narrowly escaped a life-threatening car crash. The driver who almost caused the accident started yelling at the cab driver, who remarkably just smiled, waved, and wished him well. Pollay asked how the cabbie could remain so calm, and his response sparked the defining principle of The Law of the Garbage Truck: “Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment… And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally… move on.”
Also, from the following link:
“Targets become Garbage Trucks when they accept the needless criticism and inappropriate behavior of the bullies, internalize and fill up on it all, and then turn around and dump it on others…. When young people take in the vile slung at them and believe what they hear, they give even more life to the bullies barbs, taunts, exclusioning, and rumors.”
Quietly reject the garbage and move on!
Respect and Regard is Earned
Comic… somewhat tangentially related to the idea of “fairness”… father talks to son regarding his F in the spelling bee and the fact that he still received an “award for participation”, and how that type of award is an unfortunate thing. Respect and admiration of peers must be earned, via achievement and work… not just because you “participated”.